gonna go to a reddit filmbro circle and tell them there’s gonna be an american psycho remake where they change patrick bateman’s name to patrick bateperson. played by atheist bale
the human body is an engineering marvel. I sneeze in bright light. if I dont get enough sunlight on my skin I get tired and sad and have to drink a lot of milk to fix it. standing too much hurts, but sitting too much also hurts. if I get a virus, my body will increase its temperature in an attempt to cook it, which also cooks my brain cells. toenails exist. I have to turn the radio down to see better when I drive. there are 17 genes dictating what my hair texture is, but it completely changes when the air is too humid. yawning is contagious. there are more species of bacteria living in my body than there are species of birds in the entire world. every few months I grievously injure my neck by “sleeping on it weird.” it took seven million years of human evolution to form me, and now I’m afraid of phone calls.
listening to creep on the radio in the car and after it ended the host just sighed and went “well, im sorry you feel that way thom” and then played the next song
carrd? nah. if you want to learn about me you have to connect scraps of information from my occasional sentence-long tumblr tags and gay little rants I’ve been putting there since 2016. that is the truest wellspring of self.
ideal way that my followers figure out what the fuck is up with me:
i love crossing the street in front of cars where i can see the driver is visibly annoyed because like. are you mad at me? am i making you mad? are you upset? are you gonna kill me about it? gonna vehicular manslaughter me? gonna split my head open like a watermelon with that big strong manly truck? are you mad at me?
